"Targeted" "Advertising"

A few months ago I created a Facebook account. This was my first, and probably will be my last, foray into social networking sites for me. I had my account for approximately one hour before becoming infuriated with the artificial constraints imposed on me, and I've since removed almost all of the "applications" that were installed - including some that were part of the original account. At least the standardized page layouts and color schemes have kept Facebook from becoming the appalling cesspool that is MySpace, at least from a design standpoint. Unfortunately the discussion board users frequently rival the YouTubers in terms of sheer idiocy.

But enough of that, that's not my biggest concern. By far the most infuriating thing about Facebook is their "targeted" advertising. The idea is that a page will be "crawled" and key words will be extracted and used to choose ads that will be displayed on the page.

For instance, the word "single" appeared on my Facebook profile, so I would constantly recieve ads in the form of:

"MEET SEXY SINGLES TODAY"
"WANT TO MEET SOME GIRLS?"
"BEST PICK UP LINES"
"VIEW PHOTOS OF SINGLES"

And despite the fact that the word "Atheist" also appears on my profile:
"HOT CHRISTIAN SINGLES"

They can't just leave it at that, they've got to rub it in:
"FEELING LONELY?"
"STILL SINGLE?"

YES, I AM FUCKING STILL SINGLE. I AM MADE PAINFULLY AWARE OF THIS FACT BY YOUR CRAPPY ADVERTISING. You know what kind of ad I want? How about one that says, "Click here for singles that aren't completely self-absorbed, abusive or clinically insane!"

So I remove "single" from my profile, and apparently it's now zeroed in on "Male" on the page, so the ads have changed:

"IT'S MILLER TIME"
"WANT A MACBOOK FOR FREE"

Seriously, guys, if scantily-clad coeds claiming to be from Walkerville couldn't tempt me into clicking your shitty ads, what makes you think a pyramid scheme promising overpriced computers is going to succeed? Unfortunately, things take a surprising turn at this point:

"MEN SEEKING MEN ONLINE"

I'm really not interested in that, either.

So, there you have it, my take on targeted advertising. I do NOT want "sexy" singles, homosexual men, pyramid schemes, shitty beer, the lowest prices on Crocs, or the same brand of tampons that Jessica Simpson uses.



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